I've never been very vocal about my sexual identity. Even in high school only my close friends and parents were privy to the choices I made in my dating life. Whether this was out of fear or shame, or purely because it wasn't really anyone's damn business, I don't know. Once I got married and started having children, I felt like it almost became irrelevant - I would be living the rest of my life as a "straight woman", so what did it matter what my preferences were previous to that?
Today after hearing the news about the horrific mass murder at Pulse (a gay nightclub) in Orlando, I am reminded just how much it does matter. I have always been a strong supporter of LGBTQ+ rights from the sidelines, but I have also personally felt each and every success and downfall the community has experienced in recent years - legalized marriage across much of the United States, various hate crimes, new laws to protect transgender rights, the bathroom debate, and Toronto designating June Pride Month. Unfortunately this now extends to this horrific crime which has created a deep ache in my heart.
I just saw on the news that there will be a candlelit vigil in Toronto tonight in support and remembrance of those suffering in Orlando, and all over the world. While I think that is an incredible way to show love to our neighbours in the south, I am absolutely terrified for my gay and straight friends that will be attending this event. The majority of Torontonians are very supportive and inclusive of the LGBTQ+ community, as the city and our country as a whole are extremely progressive, but we are not perfect - nowhere is, and I am afraid for what that could mean for tonight's public gathering.
And so for this reason, I felt the need to speak out, to extend a hand to the LGBTQ+ community, and to come out and say in this public forum, that I identify as bisexual. It is something I have always identified as, as far back as I can remember, but it only just occurred to me now that not being "out" is only doing the community a disservice. Not to mention the damage it could be doing to me, by not living my truth or acknowledging every aspect of my authentic self.
As I write this I am absolutely terrified of what it will mean to be out, even though it's a minor declaration compared to what some face. However I feel confident in my decision, and thankful that I live in a place where I don't fear for my life because of my decision to share this openly with the internet. I hope you can feel me sending peace and love and hope out to you while you struggle with the weight of this tragedy, or if you are feeling the weight of your identity at this time. Love is love.
Labels: bi-sexual, coming out, LGBTQ, Love is Love, Orlando, pride, Toronto
