Before I even became pregnant with my oldest son, I always knew I wanted our children to take the French Immersion stream in school. I went to an English/French school growing up, and was always so jealous that I hadn't been put in FI. My French friends were "smarter" (what I perceived to be smarter, but which was really just possessing a better work ethic and trying harder), better behaved, and much more cultured. Even now when we are all finished with post-secondary education and into our careers, many of my FI friends are doing much more incredible things than my English friends - no offence to them. Maybe my view is skewed, or maybe it's too small a sample group to really compare, but the feelings stuck with me through all these years. It's also just a huge benefit to be bilingual, especially in Canada, but that is an obvious draw to the program.
However once I became pregnant and had children, the extent of research I did on various parenting topics grew exponentially. At some point in 2013 I came across this video: Hackschooling Makes Me Happy by Logan LaPlante. Please watch it if you haven't already.
This video changed all my views on educating our children. I had no idea a thirteen year old boy could be so intelligent, so well spoken, and so well rounded in his interests and talents. Logan made me want this life for my son (now sons). He mentioned another TED Talk in his video, one that inspired him to hack his schooling. It just so happens this video is the most watched TED Talk in history, and so I'll share it with you here as well, in case you haven't seen it. Do Schools Kill Creativity by Sir Ken Robinson.
After watching SKR's video I went on a research tangent and spent a few months pinning homeschool and unschool resources on Pinterest, reading countless blogs, and watching videos. I was pretty set on homsechooling/unschooling/hackschooling my children. Late in 2014 however we started discussing buying our first home and where we wanted to live, and all those major life decisions. In the spring of 2015 we purchased our starter home that coincidentally was just four doors down from a brand new (literally the doors opened two weeks before we purchased the home), state of the art school with English and French Immersion streams. It seemed to be a sign, so we registered our oldest for that September's kindergarten class, and decided to take that approach for now. Shortly thereafter I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and early-onset arthritis, and we knew I likely couldn't handle homeschooling a four year old (with a one year old in tow) in my condition anyways. Everything seemed to be pointing to us heading the right direction for all involved, despite my desire to give him an alternative education.
Our son started junior kindergarten in September and despite some early behaviour issues with being a little too bossy and a little too hands-on in the classroom, he was excelling. He was reading at a grade-level a year and a half ahead of where he was, had discovered a love of art and crafts, and was continually telling us how much he loved school and playing with his friends. A few months ago however he started really acting out at home, something we haven't really discussed with anyone for fear it was our fault (ah, parenting guilt). He became extremely rude, rough and unforgiving with his younger brother, crazed with energy, and a horrible listener. Of course, they call them the "fucking fours" for a reason - four is not an easy age, especially when you're throwing them into a seven hours a day traditional school with 25 kids in a 30 by 20 foot room, and adding on the winter cold and spring rain that keeps them from having outdoor recesses. We tried everything - naps after school (he's off at 2:40 so it was still early enough in the day), no naps, quiet time watching a TV show, or boisterous play (outdoors when possible), and he takes part in curricular activities to burn off energy (he does swimming lessons continuously, he did taekwondo last summer, and is starting t-ball in a few weeks). Nothing seems to help, and although many resources suggest he'll outgrow it, I'm worrying about the damage it's doing to his self-esteem to always be in trouble, the bad behaviours his little brother is picking up on and already mimicking at 21 months, and the breakdown it's causing to our parent-child relationship that had been so wonderful until now. Maybe he will outgrow it, and I truly hope he does, but right now we can't just live with the affect these behaviours are having on our family, so we've decided to make a change.
I had a parent-teacher conference last week with his wonderful teacher and she confirmed that he is doing very well at school. He is controlling his emotions and his energy, he has a good group of friends, and he is still excelling in his academics - especially reading. This put my mind at ease a little bit, knowing that he can potentially be successful in the traditional school system, if he wants to be there. His teacher suggested that maybe he is putting so much effort into controlling himself at school that when he gets home he just explodes with energy and bad behaviour. This sounds pretty accurate to me, and she says is fairly typical with kindergarteners. After this phone call confirmed that I didn't have to worry about him at school, only at home, I dove back into my research. I joined all the homeschool/unschool groups on Facebook and asked their advice, I watched a bunch of videos, I read a million blogs. Many homeschooling parents disclosed similar reasons for keeping their children home - kids that had too much energy and the school was trying to have them diagnosed with ADD (something I do believe exists, but not nearly as much as it's diagnosed), or kids that were wonderfully behaved until they started school and now are struggling to keep it together so-to-speak. It was nice to know I'm not alone, but I feel for all these parents.
Because I suffer with chronic illnesses, and now have a busy, strong-willed 21 month old to entertain and keep alive during the day, I still feel that I can't take on full-time homeschooling. Plus my son really does like school and is doing well there, so I feel like it would be an injustice to just rip him away from that. If he was struggling and didn't have many friends and was unhappy there, I would put my pain and exhaustion to the side and do what is best for him, of course, but that doesn't seem to be the case. So we have decided to unschool him for one day each week, on Wednesdays, to break up the week for him.
So what is unschooling exactly? It's the practice of letting children do what they do best - learning, naturally. Up until they are school-aged, children spend their entire day playing, and learning everything they need to know in those first few years while playing. This is what I want to foster in our son. Of course, a good portion of their day at school is about learning while playing. But they are told what to play, and what to learn. I will provide him with the resources he needs to learn everything and anything about what he is interested in - they don't do units about skateboarding, playing ukulele, or gymnastics at school. Books, videos, field trips, and hands-on work will all be a part of his unschooling days. He needs to be able to exert as much physical energy as possible, and learn outside the confines of a classroom. He needs to be loved and nurtured, and we need to repair what isn't working within our family dynamics. He needs to know that his interests are important, and that he can take control of his education.
There are twelve weeks left of school, so I connected with his principal about this plan this morning. She was more than understanding, and even acknowledged that the traditional school system is tough on little boys of his age and his energy level. So it's official, we will be giving part-time unschooling a trial run for the rest of the school year. I already have a number of lists, notes and plans ready. Of course, because his at home education will be child-led I can't plan too much, but I do have things prepared that I think will spark his interests, for days when they're needed. I have already made connections with a few moms in some of the homeschool groups, and found a local group in our community that meets at the library, conveniently on Wednesday afternoons. So next Wednesday, we are going to learn how to take the bus (I don't have a car most days) and meet up with that group.
As for what the future holds, I have no idea. I will be home with both kids all summer, so we will continue our field trips and everyday natural learning throughout the warmer months. We will reassess how he is doing emotionally at the end of the summer as to whether we think we should continue part-time unschooling once the traditional school year starts again, and once we see how he handles French Immersion. Both his teachers and our family believe that the intellectual challenge will be great for him and that he can be successful, but he'll need even more capacity to sit still and focus, and then still behave when he gets home. So for now, everything will be played by ear, but I am really looking forward to this twelve week trial of part-time unschooling our little man. Please let me know if you have any questions, I would be happy to discuss our plans with you!
